Hell's Kitchen

Burning Dollar

The warden’s stooges frog-marched the former prisoner to an uncertain freedom. Johnny Hotpocket stood outside of Massive State Penitentiary, blinking in the early morning sunlight. His manila folder contained only his watch, a gaudy orange flyer and a bus ticket in lieu of the state’s usual cab fare. Johnny couldn’t believe his luck. He grinned ... Read more

The Oxymoronic Hydroponic Tubers

Copyright © by Mitchell Allen Angela was about to get her ashes hauled by Liam Moore. She didn't know this, because it hadn't happened yet. In fact, young Liam wasn't even born yet. None of this matters, because the fact is, if Angela hadn't met Foley in the mail room on that fateful day, she ... Read more

Pandora's Pillbox

Pandoras Pillbox500x627

Gerrie Shamba, Keeper of The Pandora Pillbox, shimmered into Siberia on June 29th, 1908. She removed the time-traveling hat from her head, reached into it and withdrew a handful of infected ticks. She sprinkled them onto the ground before returning the hat to her head. In twelve hours, an asteroid would explode over the region ... Read more

Xenia Gets Got

Tonight, Xenia intended to enchant her ugly-ass boyfriend, Harold. She only put up with his broomstick-thin, Jack-o-lantern gapped-tooth goofiness because his bank account balance had an alarming number of zeroes on it. Plus, in five weeks, they would be husband and wife, at which point, she would finally move into his spooky old mansion and ... Read more

The Cracked Mirror

Rubens Als Cartoon: Venus Vor Dem Spiegel

Detective Ragbone shook a small amount of graphite onto the frame, while marveling at the unnaturally uniform craquelure of the forged Venus in the Mirror. Having momentarily forgotten the gravity of the current scene, he quipped, “Even Rubens knew better than to daub a perfect crack.” “Ragbone! Decorum, please.” Inspector Wiggins coughed into his hand. ... Read more