The Last Supper


If it hadn't been for the extended quarantine, I'd have never finally found Charlie in the freezer. Six years ago, my youngest thought it would be a blast to hide an Easter egg behind the bags of peas and corn. It was his turn to be the Egg Master, as we called the person who ... Read more

The Oxymoronic Hydroponic Tubers

Copyright © by Mitchell Allen Angela was about to get her ashes hauled by Liam Moore. She didn't know this, because it hadn't happened yet. In fact, young Liam wasn't even born yet. None of this matters, because the fact is, if Angela hadn't met Foley in the mail room on that fateful day, she ... Read more

My Neighbor's Yard


To the casual observer, Jacob Jr. was just a kid galumphing through puddles in his galoshes. But, I knew better. I had seen Jacob Jr. and his "family" snacking on the toxic blooms that had overtaken their fenced-in yard. Also, once a month, the elder Jacob took a baseball bat to a hapless chick, after ... Read more

Une Perdrix?

12 Days Of Christmas

The bough broke. Down came the partridge: scarf, cap and all. Jamie swore. “Dammit, Kirsten, I told you to get a fir tree.” “Don’t swear on the eve of our Lord’s birth. I thought you said ‘pear’ tree and this was the closest thing I could find.” “Why would you think … ? Oh, that ... Read more

My Etch a Sketch Kvetch

Water Running Down The Reddish Basaltic Walls And Condensed Water Vapour Frozen Due To Year Round Minus Degrees In The Boy Scout Cave, A Underground Lava Tube In The Craters Of The Moon.

Terraformer 2000 came with a microphone, but no manual. It was the latest software from Landforms, LLC., a virtual replicator for the hologram television entertainment platform. Landforms specialized in virtual landscapes for Massive Arco Multiplayer Universes (MAMUs.) I put away my Cheerios, sat back and flicked on the mic. The mic searched for and found ... Read more

Farting Around with Zombies


"Daddy?" Mike licked his fingers before grabbing his big boy spoon. "What's a vegetarian?" Abner chuckled, "A starving zombie." "Dad!" Abner looked at his son's serious face. When did his little monkey change into this studious inquisitor? He stopped laughing and gave his son an answer suitable for a six year-old. "Oh. Suzie told us ... Read more

Dinner Party Line of Sight

Vegetable Platter

Hats, Scarves and Handshakes Mitchell Allen: When I saw "Whip it", I thought about the scene where the pageant contestants were telling the audience about who they would like to have dinner with. Later that day, my wife shows me your YouTube clip of Willow Smith performing Whip My Hair . So, I thought I'd ... Read more

The Wizard's Daughter

Corn Field At The Yellow Sunset

Tomorrow’s execution would be delayed no longer. All appeals had been exhausted; the wizard’s daughter refused to repent and the bishop had no choice but to make an example of her. To do anything less would only fuel the burgeoning unrest among the peasants. This close to the harvest, the king and his advisors were ... Read more